The Tyrant Wants to Live a Good Life,
“Dorothy is so pretty. I love that our baby is Dorothy.”
Even at my reaction, Ray’s eyes sparkled. What on earth does he see that makes me pretty?
Even though I always reacted curtly, Ray persistently showered me with affection.
“I’m not pretty.”
“Not pretty? Who said our Dorothy isn’t pretty?”
Ray placed his hands on his hips and raised his eyebrows fiercely.
“I.”
“No, Dorothy! I’m telling you, Dorothy is really pretty!”
Ray grabbed my shoulders tightly and followed me to the mirror.
Ray stood me face-to-face in front of the mirror, as if to show off.
“Look! Pretty, right? There’s no baby in the world as pretty as Dorothy!”
He pointed at me reflected in the mirror and asserted firmly.
I followed him and looked in the mirror.
Just as Ray had said, a pretty girl stood in the mirror.
Blonde hair and blue eyes that proved she was Ray's blood relative. Her features, delicately arranged on her white skin, were clearly functioning despite her young age.
Her physical composition was certainly quite excellent.
In fact, even before the regression, she had received many compliments regarding her beauty.
The retainers who followed me praised my beauty almost every day.
"You are truly beautiful today as well."
"The most beautiful and great person in the world."
I willingly gave wealth and power to those who whispered sweet words to me.
And then they drove me to the execution block, pointing fingers at me and calling me a tyrant.
Therefore, I no longer believe the words of those who whisper that I am beautiful.
The blank expression reflected in the mirror. An emotionless gaze. Lips that had forgotten how to smile.
In that dry expression, not even a trace of the word "loveliness" could be found.
Far from being lovely, I looked like a porcelain doll with an eerie atmosphere.
Right. This is me.
“Look closely, Dorothy.”
Ray kept smiling at my reflection in the mirror, seemingly amused by something.
“……You’re not pretty.”
I turned my head away from the mirror and looked away.
* * *
“His Majesty the First Emperor Milanaire possessed a Spirit Stone, but it was lost during the time of Theresia.”
My nanny told me about the Spirit Stone while reading a fairy tale to me.
It was a rather elaborate explanation, but the problem was that it was wrong.
“Nanny, the Spirit Stone of Light disappeared during the time of Corresus.”
To think she confused that, considering there is nearly a hundred years between Theresia and Corresus.
At that, my nanny blinked for a moment and looked through another book.
After searching through the imperial family's genealogy, my nanny stared at me with her mouth wide open.
“Good heavens! Princess, you have the entire Milanaire family tree memorized?”
The nanny marveled at the fact that I had memorized the entire Milanaire family tree.
Oh no. I should have pretended not to know for a moment.
Since I had memorized the Milanaire family tree by heart long before my regression, I ended up reciting it with such familiarity.
“His Majesty the Emperor needs to know this...!”
The nanny slapped her knee in regret.
To think that a princess two years younger than me could memorize the imperial family tree, which even Ray hasn't fully memorized yet.
The nanny was quite proud of my intelligence.
But I quietly shook my head.
That man doesn't need to know.
Emperor Carnan Milanaire. In other words, my father.
However, I found it extremely difficult to connect him with the word "father."
Honestly, the word "father" felt like a strange foreign language.
A strange word that can be roughly translated in some sense, yet whose nuance or precise feeling is unknown.
I was connected to Carnan and Milanaire by blood, but that bloodline meant nothing to me.
Outwardly, I inherited blonde hair and blue eyes, but I did not inherit the truly important qualification of Milanaire.
‘That’s why I’ve never seen his face until now.’
I regressed to the age of six. Since opening my eyes, I have never once seen my parents’ faces.
My mother passed away immediately after giving birth to me, and Carnan was indifferent to me.
How hard I used to try to catch the eye of this indifferent Carnan.
I deliberately tripped in front of him, showed off my intelligence, worked hard to be better than Ray, and even acted spitefully.
But he never paid me any attention, not even to the very end.
The first reason I came to dislike Ray was probably Carnan.
Because unlike me, Ray received an abundance of Carnan's attention and love.
The time with Carnan that was not allowed for me was granted to Ray, at least.
Ray received gifts from Carnan without doing anything, ate meals with him, and could ask him questions whenever he was curious.
Why did I cherish Ray more, when he was just a fool who giggled every day and liked playing in the dirt?
I studied hard, was skilled in swordsmanship, and could draw the complex coat of arms of the Milanaire Imperial Household without making a mistake.
That is why I hated Ray.
I felt satisfied only when I tormented him as best I could and took everything he possessed.
The more I did that, the more Carnan hated me, and our relationship entered an endless cycle of viciousness.
"Do not let Dorothea take a single step out of her room for a month."
Even when scolding or punishing me, Carnan would not look me in the eye, but would issue orders to his retainers or nannies.
My life, which craved love but was too pathetic to be loved.
Like reaching out to catch the beautiful moon, my love was always one-sided and never reached.
It seems Carnon wanted me to break off a branch and grow into a pathetic tree, but unfortunately, I was born with a temperament as tough as a weed.
Feeding on anger and resentment, the seeds of evil grew rapidly.
The birth of Dorothea Milanaire, the tyrant who envies, is jealous of, tramples on, steals from, and greedily devours others.
‘What does the reason matter now?’
I wasn't trying to blame them.
Because I realized that even shifting the blame for my sins onto others was meaningless.
It must simply be my fault for not being lovable.
It was my fault for being so ugly and twisted that I couldn't even feel the heart to love.
‘But it’s okay now.’
Still, thanks to this being my second life, I felt no regret for Carnon.
Because I had no more expectations.
I thought it wouldn't be so bad to live like this for the rest of my life without ever seeing a single shadow of Carnan.
I'm tired of trying to be loved and yearning for it. I'm exhausted.
I just want to live like this, like an old object tossed into an empty room, and then quietly pass away, rotting away with the flow of time.
But unlike me, the nanny sighed deeply, as if hurt by Carnan's indifference.
“His Majesty would surely be pleased to see the Princess.”
No, Nanny. That man isn't like that.
I should have stopped the nanny a little more actively that day.
* * *
“Princess, shall we go for a walk over there today?”
Perhaps wanting some fresh air, the nanny suggested a walk in a direction we usually didn't go.
The Imperial Palace was vast, and there were gardens to stroll through everywhere.
‘That's Alice's hometown, isn't it?’
Alice was the name of my mother, whose face I had never even seen.
A garden with an idyllic and pastoral atmosphere, created by Carnan for Alice, who longed for her hometown.
For this reason, it was named "Alice's Hometown."
"It had quite a nice atmosphere, so I liked it too."
Before my regression, after ascending to the throne, I used to spend time there occasionally.
I hoped that in that place—unpretentious, modest, and tranquil—I could soothe my heart, even just a little.
"Okay."
And so, I foolishly accepted the nanny's proposal.
With a rather cheerful expression, the nanny took me to Alice's Hometown.
Alice's Hometown presented a warm landscape that seemed as if evening smoke were rising.
A pond where water lilies grew, wild roses and wisteria, cattails swaying in the gentle breeze, a small stream and a watermill, and a small wooden arch bridge.
A garden that was natural and simple, yet just as elaborate.
The nanny led me to the bridge crossing the pond.
“Your Highness! Look over there. There are carp swimming. Carp.”
The nanny pointed to the pond, speaking as if addressing a young child.
Beautiful koi, flown in from a distant region, were swimming in the pond.
The koi cut through the water, occasionally surfacing to gasp and mumble something before swimming away.
The nanny pressed small brown pellets into my hand, asking if I would like to feed the carp.
I didn't think feeding carp was such a big deal, but thinking that those fish needed to eat to survive, I scattered the food the nanny had given me into the pond.
Just then.
“Your Majesty!”
The nanny suddenly shouted loudly, and startled, I ended up throwing all the carp food into the pond. Because of this, the carp stuck to the surface flopped about, splashing water.
“Your Majesty?”
I turned my head, leaving the carp that had gathered to eat, to see Carnan enjoying a stroll accompanied by servants.
Only then did I realize that this was the nanny’s wicked scheme!
I should have seen through her intentions when she suggested going to the garden, a place I hadn’t visited in years!
For days now, she had been singing the praises of His Majesty needing to see the Princess.
“I was just as stupid as Ray this time!”
I couldn’t have felt more pathetic for having been deceived by the nanny.
However, since Carnan’s gaze was already fixed on me, I could not escape. I hid behind the nanny.
Carnan, walking from a distance, fixed his eyes directly on the nanny and me.
“I greet His Imperial Majesty.”
The nanny knelt in greeting, and I remained hidden behind her, refusing to step forward.
Carnan furrowed his brow at my rude attitude of skipping the greeting, but I kept my mouth shut.
When it comes to rudeness, there is no father who has neglected his child until they are six years old.
And yet, he certainly wouldn't expect the child to smile brightly and greet him.
“Who are you to dare enter Alice’s garden?”
Carnan asked, sounding displeased.
I knew this would happen. He doesn't recognize me.
Before the regression, we used to meet earlier and more often because I would cry and throw tantrums saying I wanted to see my father. But now, having never met him even once in the six years since, it was understandable that he would forget.
“I am the nanny serving Princess Dorothea Milanaire.”
“Dorothea Milanaire?”
Carnan’s gaze met mine, and he furrowed his brow...
