Chapter : 46
Lady Somerset, a thick shawl draped over her shoulders, was just stepping out of the sitting room. Standing by the door, she looked at Jacqueline with cold eyes.
“Mother.”
Jacqueline’s brows twisted slightly. Lady Somerset pulled her shawl tighter, her expression growing even more severe.
“As soon as you reach the capital, go find Mr. O’Brien. Do exactly as he tells you. If you do, we can rise again, Jackie. With that money, we can return to the capital. No one will dare say the Somerset family has fallen anymore.”
“I can’t lie for money. My false testimony would make many people unhappy, Mother.”
“Unhappy?”
Lady Somerset’s voice sharpened like a needle. She glared at her daughter with blazing eyes, teeth clenched.
The sudden change made Jacqueline’s eyes widen.
“Mother…”
Mrs. Brown tried to intervene with a soft, “Sister,” but Lady Somerset didn’t hear her. Her burning gaze was filled with fury.
“Are you saying others matter more than me? Can’t you see how miserable I am, Jackie? Can’t you see me dying day by day in this wretched countryside? After everything I’ve done to raise you, how could you do this to me!”
Biting her lower lip, Lady Somerset suddenly softened her eyes. As if soothing a young child, she spoke gently.
The shift was chillingly abrupt.
“Jacqueline. You know who I live for, don’t you? You know how much I trust and rely on you. Without you, I would have died long ago.”
“Of course, Mother.”
Lady Somerset stepped forward and embraced her. Jacqueline returned the hug. The frail body, the sharpness of her bones—it made her chest ache.
At the same time, a cold wind swept through Jacqueline’s heart, as if a hollow had been carved open inside her.
Whooo—
The empty wind grew stronger within her, raging through every corner. Wherever it passed, she felt herself becoming barren.
Jacqueline could not free herself from two feelings toward her mother: pity and burden. She felt sorry for her, yet at the same time weighed down by her.
And every time she realized that, guilt crushed her.
How could a daughter feel burdened by her own mother? That’s unthinkable. I’m her only family.
“Yes, my child. I believe you’ll accept His Majesty’s offer for my sake. Let’s return to society together. It may be a little late, but you can find a husband there—one who will make both of us happy. Surely there will be a gentleman who will accept both you and me. Then we can return to the life we once had.”
“…Mother.”
Jacqueline’s voice was hollow. She knew that no matter what she said, her mother wouldn’t hear it.
Lady Somerset’s eyes grew distant. Gazing into the air with hope, she cupped Jacqueline’s cheeks with her thin hands.
“My beloved daughter, Jackie. You’ve never once disappointed me.”
She looked up at her with gentle eyes, smiling brightly—just as she had before her breakdown.
And so Jacqueline couldn’t bring herself to be cruel. Her mother had always been kind to her.
Reading her fairy tales before bed. Being the first to rush in when thunder struck.
She’s just sick right now. One day, she’ll return to how she used to be. Jacqueline had to believe that—otherwise she couldn’t endure this moment.
“It’s almost time for the train. I should go. I’ll write to you, Mother.”
“Very well. Don’t forget to find Parker O’Brien.”
Instead of answering, Jacqueline opened the front door and stepped outside. No longer an innocent noble lady, she knew well that even small promises could bind her.
A luggage carriage waited in front of the house. The hunched coachman straightened and took the reins as the door opened.
As she took a step forward, Lady Somerset’s sharp voice followed her.
“You won’t abandon me for people you’ve only just met, will you, Jackie? You wouldn’t let my life end like this!”
“That’s enough, Sister. Why burden the child when she’s going to work?”
Mrs. Brown finally scolded her.
Climbing into the seat beside the driver, Jacqueline gave a small wave to the two women at the door. But her heart felt heavier than ever.
“Don’t disappoint me, Jackie.”
Lady Somerset’s final warning was cold.
Jacqueline turned to the coachman. “Let’s go.”
The carriage began to move. The gaze clinging to her back felt suffocating, as if tightening around her neck.
Haah.
Only when the red brick house faded into the distance did Jacqueline finally let out a sigh of relief.
She truly loved her mother. She wanted to grant her every wish.
Her mother, who had fallen overnight, had suffered to the point of a nervous breakdown, and Jacqueline wanted to bring back her smile.
But making her mother happy meant making Windsor and Benjamin unhappy.
Jacqueline knew how hard Windsor worked to protect his young nephew.
He paid great attention to Benjamin’s education. Sometimes it seemed excessive, but there was no doubt it was for the boy’s sake.
He had endured countless hardships to protect the Preston family. Unskilled in noble etiquette, he couldn’t even ask a lady to dance or attend social gatherings.
Even knowing the rumors about him were growing, Windsor endured in silence.
All to pass down an intact Preston household to Benjamin, and to preserve the family’s honor.
If she hadn’t become Benjamin’s tutor, she might have accepted O’Brien’s proposal without hesitation.
But Jacqueline had seen them up close. She knew better than anyone how devoted Windsor was, and how much Benjamin respected him.
“…”
But I can’t make Mother unhappy either.
Having already suffered one loss, her mother might completely collapse this time. She would think Jacqueline had betrayed her.
Unlike now, where she was barely holding on, this time she might fall so completely she could never rise again.
It would be Jacqueline herself who pushed her into the abyss.
It felt like being thrown into a dark room, bound hand and foot—unable to move, unable to see.
One wrong step, and she might fall into an irreversible pit.
Being forced to choose between the two was unbearably cruel.
Because it meant abandoning one of them.
Jacqueline slowly turned her head. Endless plains and rolling hills stretched out before her, sheep wandering freely between them.
But even the peaceful countryside brought her no comfort. Her eyes sank with gloom. Her heart had never felt heavier.
Windsor stepped down from the carriage and fastened his jacket buttons one by one. Roman stood behind him, face stern.
From the moment the carriage passed through the mansion gates, the butler waiting at the entrance greeted him respectfully.
“Welcome, Lord Preston. Her Grace is expecting you. I will escort you to the drawing room.”
Windsor nodded and followed at a measured pace. The Chamberlain estate was as grand and imposing as the Preston residence.
Walking down the corridor, Roman glanced around, only moving his eyes. At the sight of expensive paintings and ornaments, he shook his head.
He could never understand the tastes of the rich—spending thousands of gold on paintings and porcelain you couldn’t even eat.
“This way, Lord Preston.”
“I’ll wait here.”
Roman straightened near the drawing room door. The butler, holding the door open, turned to him.
“I will show Mr. Miller to the waiting room. Please follow me.”
“Ah, alright.”
Scratching his head, Roman turned away after seeing Windsor enter. So even aides have their own waiting rooms in places like this, he thought.
“Good day, Lady Chamberlain.”
Inside, Windsor’s gaze fell on the elderly woman seated in a chair. He walked straight toward her.
“Ah, Lord Preston. Welcome.”
As if it were natural, she extended her hand. Windsor lightly kissed the back of it before taking his seat.
Lady Chamberlain looked at him with gentle eyes. Grace was evident in every movement she made.
“Was your journey here comfortable? The estate is rather secluded, isn’t it?”
“Not at all.”
At his blunt reply, she suddenly burst into laughter.
Windsor raised one eyebrow slightly, wondering if he had made a joke. Nothing came to mind.
“How refreshing. It’s been a long time since someone has made that kind of expression in front of me.”
“If I’ve been rude, I apologize.”
“Not at all. Gregory—ah, my husband who passed ten years ago—you remind me of him. It’s been a while since I’ve thought of Gregory.”
She seemed genuinely unconcerned, smiling pleasantly.
Before her, most people never stopped smiling—though it was usually a polite façade. In noble society, that was simply the norm.
After all, she had once been called the “Queen of Society.” Everyone had wanted to catch her eye, to make use of her connections.
“I see.”
Windsor nodded vaguely, unsure what to say. Fortunately, like most nobles, she enjoyed talking.
Lady Chamberlain poured tea into an empty cup.
“He was quite a blunt man. Not very good at understanding a woman’s heart. I suffered a great deal because of it. Only much later—much too late—did I realize his true feelings. Drink.”
“Thank you.”
Windsor pulled the teacup toward himself. Unfortunately, her story had only just begun.
“Before he passed, he shut himself in his study for days. He was always called a workaholic, so I scolded him—if he loved work that much, why not marry it instead of me? I resented him for spending what little time he had left alone…”