Chapter : 38
“Thank you for coming. Honestly, after I so rudely forced my request on Miss Humble, I was worried I might have been too discourteous. I even thought Miss Somerset might not show up.”
Evan paused briefly there, then smiled brightly—a smile that would have made anyone watching feel at ease.
“I’m relieved. To be honest, I was prepared to wait until the shop closed.”
Evan said it lightly, as if it were a joke, tugging up the corners of his mouth. But Jacqueline knew it wasn’t entirely a joke.
He really would have waited until the shop closed.
The sincerity pressing toward her felt heavier than usual today. Perhaps because it was a feeling she could not return.
Her own feelings and Evan’s feelings.
Jacqueline, carrying both, could only feel burdened. And Evan, who had given his feelings to her, could only feel light as if he might float away.
She exhaled slowly and lifted her chin slightly.
“The reason I came here today is…”
At that moment, a waiter placed coffee in front of them. A plate of cookies and muffins was set down as well.
Jacqueline nodded lightly to the waiter, and only after he left did she speak again.
“Mr. Knox, the reason I came here today is—”
“Let’s have coffee first. I heard the owner of this café studied abroad in the Kingdom of Norti. That’s why the coffee is quite excellent. I hope it suits you, Miss Somerset.”
With that, Evan lifted his cup to his lips. His expression softened in satisfaction, but he couldn’t fully hide his nervousness.
Slightly trembling eyes, a faintly subdued voice, stiff fingertips.
He had clearly anticipated her rejection. The end of his once-refreshing smile had stiffened awkwardly.
Jacqueline, watching his mouth, suddenly spoke.
“Why me?”
Evan, just setting down his cup, raised his eyebrows slightly. Jacqueline met his gaze directly, without touching her coffee.
Evan instinctively smiled when their eyes met. For a moment, she thought he was very different from Windsor. Windsor had never once smiled at her.
It must be a Preston family tradition.
Jacqueline tried to imagine Evan smiling properly, but it wasn’t easy. It was like trying to picture an animal she had never seen before.
In the end, she failed.
If she ever saw Windsor smile, she would probably be just as shocked as when she first saw Benjamin’s radiant smile.
Jacqueline cut off her wandering thoughts and focused on Evan. Her voice came out calm, almost detached.
“As you know, broken engagements are quite common in society. There are many ladies more outstanding than me, and with your position, Mr. Knox, you could meet them without difficulty. So why me? Even though we were once engaged, we barely met. Or perhaps…”
She paused and gave him a sharp look.
“Are you using me as a stepping stone to escape your father’s shadow?”
“!”
Evan’s eyes widened, as if he had never expected such words.
Then he lowered his gaze, looking wounded. A sorrowful smile formed on his lips, as though he had never imagined she would think that of him.
Jacqueline bit her lower lip without realizing it. She had suspected he might be using her as a tool to rebel against his father.
But it seemed that wasn’t the case. That expression was too dejected, like a scolded child.
“…If I’ve offended you, Mr. Knox, I’m sorry. I spoke too harshly.”
“It’s alright.”
Evan quickly returned to his usual expression, smiling brightly again. He was not the kind of man who would make a lady apologize.
Looking at her with an intense gaze, Evan spoke like a quiet sigh.
“It seems Miss Somerset doesn’t remember.”
“Remember… what?”
Jacqueline frowned slightly, both hands wrapped around her teacup. What past was he referring to? The warmth of the coffee slowly spread through her palms.
Meanwhile, Evan’s eyes drifted into a distant, languid look.
“The first time we danced.”
“I remember.”
Jacqueline nodded immediately, as if that was what he meant. Her eyes also traced back to that moment in the past.
It was the banquet where their engagement was announced. On that day, Jacqueline and Evan, meeting for the first time, danced together in front of everyone.
A year after entering boarding school, she had been unilaterally informed by her father of her engagement.
It wasn’t unusual. Most young ladies learned of their engagements in a similar way.
Jacqueline had been curious about Evan Knox, her fiancé. She had searched the entire boarding school asking if anyone knew him.
Even after gathering information about him, their first meeting had still been tense—made worse by the gossiping maids.
Somewhere between boy and young man, Evan had been just as the rumors said: polite and gentle. That was her first impression of him.
“We were both awkward. It was the first time I had ever danced with a man other than my father. I was quite frightened, actually. I was afraid I might step on your foot in front of so many people.”
“I know. You said the same thing back then, Miss Somerset.”
Evan smiled softly, as if the memory was still vivid. Jacqueline looked at him in surprise.
“Did I?”
She suddenly thought there were many people who remembered her first meetings. Just as Samantha vividly remembered hers with her.
Perhaps memory was relative. A moment deeply impressive to one person might not be to another.
In that sense, her first meeting with Lord Preston had been quite memorable.
Evan’s face briefly showed disappointment before he returned to a gentle smile.
“I thought it was admirable. The courage to speak honestly about one’s fear.”
“…Is that so?”
Jacqueline lowered her gaze slightly, feeling a little embarrassed. Evan, however, continued trying to meet her eyes.
Drying his lips with his tongue as if thirsty, he slowly spoke.
“That day—”
Jacqueline lifted her head. At the same moment, she met his trembling eyes. Her expression gradually faded.
“I fell in love at first sight. With you, Miss Somerset.”
“!”
Jacqueline’s eyes widened.
She could not speak for a while, only staring at Evan.
She had not known. She had assumed he saw their engagement as nothing more than a noble obligation.
“Ah…”
An unintelligent sound escaped her lips. Evan, avoiding her gaze in embarrassment, took a sip of coffee before continuing.
“You were shining so brightly when you said those words.”
“Mr. Knox, I…”
Jacqueline tried to speak, but Evan was faster. He scratched the back of his neck and let out a dry laugh.
“It seems confessing one’s feelings requires more courage than expected. That must be why you looked so dazzling that day.”
Sure enough, the area under his eyes was slightly flushed. Jacqueline could only stare at him silently.
Unreturned goodwill pressed on her like a heavy stone. Just as she struggled under that weight, Evan spoke firmly.
“I know your situation isn’t easy. I want to help you—”
“No, Mr. Knox.”
Jacqueline shook her head quickly, meeting his gaze with steady eyes.
“I appreciate your feelings, but I can handle my own matters. I’ve relied on others for so long that I’ve realized I can’t do much on my own. So I want to try now. I don’t know if it will go well, but still.”
At her polite refusal, Evan did not look disappointed. Instead, he laughed brightly, warmth deepening in his eyes.
“I expected you would say that.”
Jacqueline froze slightly.
Evan continued, his eyes as clear as a summer sky.
“I don’t intend to pressure you. Nor do I want to burden you with one-sided feelings. But from now on, I will continue to express my feelings. I hope that this time, our engagement will be by mutual choice, not our fathers’ decision.”
“Mr. Knox…”
Jacqueline could not find any words beyond his name. She felt lost in how to refuse such a direct heart.
A strange feeling stirred within her, like a cool breeze on an early summer afternoon.
Jacqueline knew how comforting unconditional affection could be. The temptation to lean on Evan’s kindness quietly rose.
It would likely be a far more comfortable life than now—economically and physically. Evan would be a kind husband, and their home together would be as stable as deep-rooted trees.
“I will approach you slowly, so don’t worry.”
“……”
Jacqueline looked at him as if he were a stranger.
She had once thought he was timid. She had believed he would never defy his father. That had been her impression at their first meeting.
Even after several encounters, that impression had not changed. The Earl of Knox was temperamental, and Evan had always seemed unable to stand firm before him.
Yet the Evan Knox before her now was different—surprisingly resolute. Jacqueline blinked, studying him.
Had three years changed him this much?
Just as she herself had changed dramatically, had Evan also reached a turning point?
“Ah, right.”
Evan suddenly looked at her as if remembering something. Jacqueline met his gaze thoughtfully.
“I told you I started a publishing company, didn’t I?”
“Yes. I remember that.”
Jacqueline nodded absentmindedly, still slightly confused by the sudden shift in topic.
“I’m working on a publication project. After meeting you at this banquet, I thought you would be the ideal person for it.”