He trapped her as if he intended to steal even her every breath.
Even when Blair pushed him away because she could not breathe, instead of being pushed back, he grabbed the back of her neck and relentlessly pursued her.
It was a kiss driven only by desire, without consent or consideration.
Blair was finally able to breathe when her mind began to fade from lack of air.
It was after Herdin’s lips moved down to her nape and sucked roughly.
Coming to her senses a beat later, Blair struggled to escape his arms and pleaded,
“First… I want to wash first.”
She had gone out, and to the forest at that, so her body felt unpleasant.
But Herdin ignored her words and pulled down the front of her dress.
The gaze with which he looked at her held a strangely cold light.
“Did you meet that man?”
A chilling voice flowed from his approaching lips.
The way he touched her was rough.
Blair frowned and hurriedly grabbed his arm.
“Herdin, wait—”
But as if refusing to give her any chance to escape, Herdin cupped her cheek and forced her to meet his gaze.
“Answer me.
I asked you.”
As the fingers gripping her tightened, Blair swallowed a groan and opened her mouth.
“…I know what you’re worried about.
But right now there isn’t any other alternative.
I’ll be careful so that what you’re worried about won’t happen—”
Before Blair could finish speaking, Herdin’s hand rummaged through her dress.
Blair gasped and fell silent.
Herdin searched her for traces of Mikhail.
However, the only trace was the faint scent of a man’s perfume that had lingered in her hair earlier.
Even that had now faded.
He felt relieved at that, and then immediately mocked himself.
He found his own behavior absurd and irritating.
But what angered him more was…
That even after confirming this fact, nothing changed except for that brief sense of relief.
This woman still intended to run away from him.
Only the refuge was not that bastard.
That was all.
His anger turned entirely toward the woman in his arms.
Toward the woman who only thought about escaping from him.
“Shouldn’t you first uncover the truth of that incident?”
“….”
“Nothing has been resolved on this side yet, so why are you thinking about running away first?”
“I’m not.
I promised you I would keep the contract with you…”
“….”
“You know it too… no, you know better than anyone.
That I practice every night to overcome my phobia.”
Herdin’s eyes sank coldly as he looked at Blair’s face, distorted as if she were about to cry.
Yes, I know.
I know it too well.
That all of it is ultimately preparation for leaving my side.
He had momentarily forgotten that.
Bewitched by this innocent face.
“Well, who knows.
Maybe you suddenly became afraid when you thought the Empress might have abandoned you, and now you want to run away.”
Both Herdin and even Blair herself had implicitly suspected that Katrina might have used even her daughter’s life.
But it was a possibility neither of them had dared say aloud.
The moment that possibility took form and flowed from his lips, the ice-cold words pierced Blair’s heart like a blade.
It was closely tied to the self-loathing that had tormented her for a long time.
Blair’s eyes, which had always remained calm, began to shake violently.
Seeing that, Herdin twisted his lips.
He did not stop there.
“Because you think it’s better not to know than to be abandoned.”
“….”
“Isn’t that what you’re good at?”
If only that were the truth.
I wish that woman had abandoned you brutally, hurt you, and taken away even your will to run.
“The divorce you want so badly—I won’t grant it until that incident is resolved.”
Herdin raised his damp fingers and stroked Blair’s cheek.
That somewhat sensual gesture only shattered her more cruelly in this moment.
“So until then, stop dreaming foolish dreams and listen to me.”
Tears filled Blair’s eyes as she looked at Herdin, who muttered coldly.
His figure overlapped with the past.
In the end, you had not changed at all.
And yet, I had fallen in love with you again.
It felt ridiculous and miserable to see herself being hurt by him once more.
The wound she had temporarily forgotten felt as if it were being torn open again by sharp thorns.
The tears that filled Blair’s eyes overflowed silently.
Seeing that sight, Herdin felt a pleasure he himself could not understand.
It sounded insane, but at least in this moment he felt a strange sense of exhilaration, as if he had become an important existence to her.
Because her tears, her wounds, were entirely his.
Yet at the same time, the faint anxiety he always felt whenever he looked at her returned again.
The anxiety that the woman before him, the woman in his arms, might disappear.
That drove him mad.
Herdin bent down and kissed her.
Blair turned her head to avoid him, but the hand gripping her face quickly stopped her.
He kissed her as he lifted Blair into his arms and overlapped their bodies.
“Hng…”
Blair did not resist, but her freed lips avoided him.
Even at this moment, the body that burned hot wanting him and the heart that beat toward him made her feel unbearably miserable.
Soon her body began to shake violently, and Blair could no longer endure it and finally wrapped her arms around him.
Like embracing a pin cushion, sharp thorns that could not be removed pierced painfully into her heart.
* * *
The flickering flame of the lighter hovered over the wick of the candle.
Soon the candle caught fire, and the lighter’s flame went out.
Lina gasped in admiration when she saw Blair lighting the candle.
“Oh my!
Are you alright, Madam?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Sweat had formed on Blair’s forehead as if she had been exercising intensely, her breathing was rougher than usual, and her hands were trembling, but compared to before when she would fall into a panic just from seeing fire, it was a tremendous improvement.
Lina, who had watched Blair more closely than anyone else for a long time, felt even more proud of her.
“Wow, that’s really amazing.
I honestly don’t know what it’s like to have a phobia, but this must be incredibly difficult.
At this rate you might even be able to live on your own now.”
At Lina’s careless remark, Blair flinched.
Even though there was no way Lina could know about her contract marriage.
Lina quickly blew out the candle for Blair, who still could not take her eyes off the flame, and added,
“Ah, of course I’m just saying that.
You mustn’t think about going anywhere and leaving me behind.”
“Mm…”
“Well, it’s not like the Duchess would go somewhere alone anyway.”
Blair responded with a smile rather than an awkward lie toward Lina, who smiled proudly.
Since the argument with Herdin a week ago, she had no longer practiced overcoming her fear of fire with him.
From that day on, the practice had become solely Blair’s responsibility.
That did not mean he stopped visiting her bedroom.
When night came, he still came to see her, and they shared their bodies as usual, but that was all.
Not a single word passed between them.
Blair kept her mouth shut because she did not want to talk to him, and Herdin behaved as if he had no interest or purpose other than her body.
At times he seemed almost like a beast in his persistence.
Several nights passed with nothing but rough breathing and moans filling the air.
Eventually, as if he had given up on Blair who showed no reaction, Herdin stopped coming to her room.
Thinking back to the conversation they had on the day they fought, it would not have been strange if he had urged her to quickly recover her memories as he wished, yet there was not even the slightest sign of that.
His behavior and the course of events resembled her previous life to a frightening degree.
But if there was one difference, it was that Blair had no intention of repeating the same path she had taken in her previous life, where she did nothing within it.
‘What Herdin wants is the truth about the Empress Palace incident.’
So she intended to give him what he wanted and then leave.
It was not for his sake, but because she did not want to break the promise she had made to herself to never run away from the truth no matter what happened.
And it was also for Esmeralda.
“Madam, Lady Lorelline has come to see you.”
Just as Blair was absentmindedly opening and closing the lid of the lighter while lost in thought, Melly’s voice came with a knock.
“Tell her to come in.”
Once permission was given, Lina left and Agnes entered the room.
“Welcome, Agnes.
It rained heavily last night. I hope the road wasn’t too difficult on your way here.”
“Fortunately I only traveled along well-maintained roads, so the journey was comfortable.
Thank you for your concern.”
As always, Agnes greeted Blair with a gentle smile.
Then she widened her eyes when she noticed the lighter in Blair’s hand.
“Isn’t that a lighter?”
“Yes.
I was practicing lighting a candle.”
“It seems practicing with His Grace is effective.
I didn’t expect you to adapt so quickly.
After all, a husband is more reliable than anyone else, isn’t he?”
Instead of answering Agnes’s words, Blair smiled.
It was a vague response, but Agnes did not seem to notice its meaning.
“By the way, why did you ask to meet in the bedroom today instead of the greenhouse?
Are you perhaps feeling unwell…?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.”
Before speaking her true purpose, Blair hesitated briefly, then finally opened her mouth as if she had made up her mind.
“I want to try hypnosis.”
As expected, Agnes reacted as if she did not like the idea.
“Did His Grace agree to that as well?”
“No, but… I don’t think we have time to wait any longer.”
“What do you mean there’s no time to wait?”
“If my mother was truly involved in that incident, she won’t just sit back and do nothing.
Then that incident might be buried forever like this.”
Instead of telling a perfect lie, Blair chose a method of hiding her true purpose while revealing only part of the reason to provoke Agnes.
Her loyalty—not only as Herdin’s subordinate, but also toward the House of Delmark itself